Synergistic Health Solutions - Your Path To Wellness For The Entire Family
Chronicles of Truth

The Victim Mentality

Written 12/12/2011

Have you ever run across people who just seem to constantly be victims? They have the most horrific series of events happen in their lives, none of which they claim any responsibility for, yet day after day there's a new drama at hand that seems to be as devastating as the last. They seem to long to be happy and find a way to change things, yet almost every conversation is a constant barrage of complaining about how life has been utterly unfair to them. Before they are able to recover from the last debilitating scenario, there's a new one afoot, waiting to crash down upon them. 

Listening to the conversations about these events is almost painful, as it always revolves around what others have "done" to them. There also seems to often be a hint of guilt thrust forward in these conversations, as if there is something we should be doing to help these poor, unfortunate souls. There's always a portion of ourselves that feels sorry for anyone who has experienced tragic circumstances in their lives, but at what point do we begin to step back and assess these situations logically and ask, "Why do these things keep happening to this person?" Or even better, "Why do these situations keep happening to me?" 

I've been asking that question a great deal lately, as I know many people who fall into this category. As a matter of fact, I was one of them for a large portion of my life. Looking back at the things that have happened in my life, I was never able to see my own involvement in the creation of these often unwanted circumstances, yet my involvement was significant. What's even more difficult, is when we are in that frame of mind, we seem to only have the ability to look outward towards blame, rather than looking inward to see what potential role we played in bringing these events about and how to keep them from happening again. 

This is a difficult topic at best, as trying to help others see their own role in struggles can be a daunting task, and often even leading to anger and resentment, as when one is in that state, things are often taken personally and as an attack, once again leading to victimization. It's a vicious cycle So here's where the rubber meets the road. The truth is a hard thing to swallow at times, yet it's important that we identify the recurring dynamics that continue to play havoc in our lives, and learn alternative methods to avoid them in the future. 

The more I study and begin to understand energy, vibrations, frequencies and the power that inherently comes with that, the more I begin to see the commonalities that contribute to situations such as these. Energy is in EVERYTHING. It's in physical objects, but it's also vibrantly involved in our thought processes. Every single thought we have has a specific frequency. Positive thoughts have a higher frequency or vibration, whereas negative thoughts carry a much lower frequency or vibration, and like attracts like. I don't think I can say that enough times to stress the importance. LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE. In other words, the more we complain, worry, and speak of negative things, the more we are attracting like negative circumstances into our lives. We play such a large role in continuing the negative thrust of our journey, though we rarely ever realize it.  

Here's where it gets even tougher! Even if we are not negative and we have a very positive outlook on life, just allowing ourselves to be surrounded by individuals in this frame of mind and listening to their continual complaining and negative commentary, lowers our own frequency and vibration levels. These are called "emotional vampires" and they can suck the very life from you if you allow it. THIS WAS A HUGE REVELATION FOR  ME, as in my occupation, I was dealing with many people who had been through tremendously difficult circumstances and needed a shoulder to vent, so where are we to draw that line? We want to be there for others and be helpful, but at what point does it become too much? 

Over the last 6 months, I have made some major changes in my life. I have made the choice to no longer allow myself to be around systemically negative people. Now let me be clear here. That does not mean I am no longer willing to help those struggling, but what it does mean is that there is a big difference between having a bad day or even a bad month, and chronically remaining in that state of mind and being a habitual complainer and victim.  

The saying, "I am only willing to help those who are willing to help themselves," has taken on a whole new meaning to me. We can speak truth, yet if others are unwilling or unable to accept truth at the time, there is not much we can do until they get to a place where they are willing to do what is necessary to change and are willing to listen and learn. It's much like an addict, in that we can place them in rehab, but until they are ready to get well, we are often wasting our time, energy and fueling and enabling them in their continued behaviors. 

Why am I sharing all this? Because it affects all of us and we often do not realize how much the influence of others infiltrates our energy levels and contributes to our own demise. So what can be done to eliminate this issue? Here are a few steps you can take to begin to trim down the number of negative encounters that lower your frequency and energy level: 

1) Identify the difference between someone who is just having an isolated difficult time and those who remain as chronic victims. Remove yourself from those who fall into the chronic category. 

This often sounds harsh, but in all honesty, sometimes that separation has been the very catalyst to help others see how negative they really were and their need to seek help to shift that to a more positive state.  

2) When those in your presence are complaining about circumstances, help them to shift the negativity to a positive. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for...... ALWAYS! Perhaps if they were looked over for a promotion, it's because there is a much better position in line for them that they are just not aware of. Often, closed doors seem to be such a negative thing, but so many instances they are truly forks in the road leading to much better things we may not have imagined.  

If it's impossible to help them see the positives, then politely change the subject to something more positive that will lift their spirits and yours! Allowing someone to briefly vent is one thing, going on and on about it is another. Change the tone or change the conversation and remind them to be positive! I am learning to either change the tone, change the subject or politely remove myself from the conversation if it continues beyond a reasonable point of negativity.  

This applies to gossip as well. As speaking negatively about others will affect the person speaking, as well as those listening in a negative way and will greatly lower your frequency. Be conscious of your thoughts and topics of speech, but also be conscious of the speech of those around you, as it plays an equally important role in maintaining your positive high frequency. 

These are just a few things to think about, but I hope you consider them well. Just making these few changes can impact your energy levels in a significant way, not to mention the effect it has on others in your midst!  

Love and Light, 
Laura :)

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