Written on 8/6/2012
There are so many topics swimming around in my head tonight, I am struggling to determine which to write about. It seems this past week, the lessons have been fast and furious! So much so that I’m still in the process of chewing and digesting all that has transpired.
This week has been all about LETTING GO! Letting go of the past, letting go of pain, letting go of worry, and tonight, I think I am stopping on the topic of letting go of expectation.
I found myself very disappointed last night. I was waiting for a very important phone call. I was so excited about it and was waiting with anticipation for this to take place. I waited, and waited, and waited….. but it never happened. I was so incredibly disappointed. I had waited all day and much of the night thinking about this call, and yet it never came to pass. I was definitely sad, and quite a bit more down than my usual perky self. Although in my mind I realized that life happens and often people have no control over things that waylay them, I couldn’t seem to squelch this sense of loss and let down. My expectations were shattered.
I’m beginning to realize more and more that we often set ourselves up for disappointment though, by holding on entirely too tight to unrealistic expectations. What’s an unrealistic expectation, you ask? Well, I’m still learning that one myself and I’ll chime in when I have the lines of delineation drawn, but for now, let’s just say it’s expecting ANYTHING we do not have control over. We do not have control over other people or circumstances…. PERIOD. Anytime we have expectations tied to either of these, we are setting ourselves up for a potential let down.
I spent entirely too much time being bummed out about the call not happening. I wondered what happened and why. Funny thing was, a few hours later, the call actually did come through. There was an important family situation that had to be addressed immediately, which delayed the call. It couldn’t wait. So while I was moping around and all caught up in my selfish self, life was just unfolding as it was supposed to and great things were transpiring on the other end.
You see, it’s not just all about us! Though I have to remind myself of that fact more often than I’d like to admit! There are a myriad of things that can and do interfere in our life’s plans at any given point. Being the finite individuals we are, it’s quite difficult for us to see beyond what effects us personally, and consider what else could be happening in the realms beyond, outside our circle of influence.
At the end of the day, this topic lends itself perfectly to my theme of late, which has been letting go. Disappointment stems from things not working out as we expected and hoped. Hope is a great thing to have, yet expectation can be a total bugger and can take on a life of its own if we are not conscious of the influence, and I don’t mean that in a good way!
Much of what I have been writing about in the last week has been revolving around letting go and living in the present, as it’s becoming more and more evident we do not have control over the things we might like to. Living in the present means focusing our thoughts, intentions and love on what we can be doing RIGHT NOW.
Expectations can often throw a monkey wrench into that frame of mind, as they lead us to think expectantly about things to come….. the future. While having hopes and goals is in and of itself not a bad thing, expectations kind of take on a deeper, more complicated role.Here’s an example:
We may have a goal of owning our own house, but our expectation might be to get a particular promotion at work in order to pay for that house. When the promotion doesn’t come through, we are devastated, as we put all our energy into that expectation. In essence, it may have been God’s plan to bring you that house through another method, rather than the promotion. You never know, maybe you were going to win it through a lottery, or have it donated to you! This is simply one example, but I think you get my point. Having goals and hope about our future is fine. Holding on to hard and fast outcomes and the expectations and methods that are attached to those quite often brings unnecessary heartache.
I’m not going to say I don’t struggle with this concept, as obviously I have. I was just talking about last night for goodness sake, and I was definitely disappointed, for while anyway! But you know what? It’s taking a step back and looking at these situations in far more depth that is allowing me to realize I put way too much stock in the past and future, and not nearly enough in this very second.
I think my lesson for the day is to be content with hope and my goals, but trust that what is coming to me will arrive via the best method possible……. AND THAT’S NOT MY JOB TO FIGURE IT ALL OUT! Otherwise I get caught in micromanaging my life and I run the risk of getting in the way of far better things to happen! My job is to simply be grateful for all I have and what’s coming. The rest isn’t really up to me, and the sooner I start acting in accordance with that knowledge, the better! The popular saying that has been floating around far too much of late really does apply here though! IT IS WHAT IT IS….. LET IT GO.
Do we think that by ruminating and rehashing things in our minds over and over again, by being disappointed, by losing hope, we are changing outcomes of anything… other than creating more negativity in our lives?
So what’s my strategy? Staying focused on the RIGHT NOW! Living in gratitude for this very moment. That’s the best use of my time. Doing what’s at hand, being grateful, and letting go of the need to control what comes to me, when, and how. I think I feel the weight lifting off my shoulders already! I need to learn to curb my expectations to the extent of this, I expect what is best for me is on its way! :)
Love and Light,
Laura Corby :)